Getting Help

photo courtesy of pixabay, wokandapix

The post I originally wrote for today was about my summer reading wish list, but that will have to wait until next week.

Today my heart is broken for a family I’ve never met.

Yesterday a student at the high school two of my children attend took his own life. I found out about it this morning through my church’s prayer chain. I have no words for the sorrow I feel for this boy’s family.

This is not the first time this has happened at the school. In fact, it’s at least the fourth time in as many years. There is something really, really wrong when a child feels there is no hope and no help.

Please, please, if you know anyone who is thinking of suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You can also contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline via chat at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/.

Whether you contact them by phone or online, someone is there to help 24/7 all across the United States. And because I know people from all over the world read this blog, click here for a list of suicide hotlines by country. Please note that Northern Ireland, Scotland, and England are listed under United Kingdom. If you know any information on that list to be incorrect, please let me know and I’ll post the correct information below in the comments.

If you know someone who is struggling emotionally or mentally, you could be the catalyst for getting that person the help he or she desperately needs. Please visit https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help-someone-else/ to find out what you can do to help. There’s also great information about things you shouldn’t do.

Please keep struggling families in your prayers, and please remember to be kind–you never know what someone else is going through.

Until next time,

Amy

 

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44 comments on “Getting Help

  1. arv! says:

    Looks like we are getting deeper into the depression issue with so many celebrities taking their lives. Modern Life!! pressures! expectations!

    Like

    • amreade says:

      I noticed just this morning a well-known publicist for many big-name authors took her own life. She was 50. It truly seems to be reaching epidemic numbers and it’s preventable if people could just get the help they need. I also blame social media, which can be both a blessing and a curse.

      Like

      • arv! says:

        I feel that not just social media but even attitude of people needs a change. We need to be compassionate and caring rather than demanding. We forget our faults ​and point fingers at others.

        Like

      • amreade says:

        You’re so right. Learning not to blame can be hard, and I have to remind myself constantly that I don’t know what people are going through–maybe the woman at the grocery store is having a terrible day. Maybe the person who cut me off in traffic isn’t concentrating fully because of a sick child. We just never know, and it’s far better to build up than criticize.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. dgkaye says:

    How very sad Amy. This is a dire situation as it seems we are hearing about these terrible sad losses much too often. We cannot know what tortures these poor souls carry, but I can’t wrap my head around how these troubled people’s sadness go unnoticed sometimes by family, friends, or teachers.

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  3. Thank you for addressing this issue, Amy. All too often, one suicide leads to more especially among young people. Reaching out is as vitally important now as it was before this person was lost to one of our great enemies. Praying for the family and for the community.

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    • amreade says:

      I hate that such an issue even exists, but as I’ve said many times on this and other blogs, it’s vitally important that we as a society de-stigmatize the issue of mental health. The best way to do that, in my opinion, is to keep talking about it. I hope this gives people the courage to reach out because there are angels out there who care deeply.

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      • lindamthorne says:

        Yes, there are angels out there and you are one of them. This is a great post. Your children are affected too as it I is happening right in their school. This should not be happening.

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      • amreade says:

        Thank you, Linda. I worry about the kids who are having similar problems and may not know where to go for help. They may not feel comfortable talking to the adults at the school and they may not feel comfortable talking to their parents. If they know there are strangers out there who care about them and that these strangers are available all day and all night, every day, just waiting to offer help and a listening ear, these kids might not take that irreversible step. Thanks for reading and leaving your comment.

        Like

  4. priscillaking says:

    And “helpers” are so eager to offer everyone antidepressants. And antidepressants help some people feel better, don’t help others, and cause violent delusional psychotic states in a few.

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    • amreade says:

      That’s true. Antidepressants aren’t for everyone, but for those who can’t take them or don’t want to, there are alternatives, such as different types of therapy. There are also scientific studies which suggest that some people may be able to alleviate their depression through changes to their diet. That’s why it’s so important to talk to a professional about mental illness. And in the case of a person who’s actively contemplating or attempting suicide, it’s usually talk therapy that works to stop them in acute situations, not drugs. Thanks for your comment–it brought up another good point in this conversation.

      Liked by 1 person

    • While antidepressants can literally be a lifesaver for some as you say, (I am one of those), for others they do not work. It is especially true of those younger than 20 (estimated). Few medications work for young people and it is difficult to find the best dosages so for them even when depression comes from physical issues, so it is especially important to get some form of counseling or other appropriate support.

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      • amreade says:

        You’re absolutely right. I think treating kids with depression can be a roller coaster, since treatments have to be tried, adjusted, and tried again and again before deciding whether they work or not. But when a medicine works, it’s a miracle and a wonderful thing to see. Thanks for your comment.

        Like

  5. Reblogged this on Nicole Fitton and commented:
    So important. Please share if you can x

    Like

  6. Marja McGraw says:

    The friends and families are in my prayers. I’d like to add some wise words, but they fail me at the moment. What we see and what’s deep inside aren’t always the same thing. Heartbreaking.

    Like

    • amreade says:

      You’re so right, Marja. It’s an unspeakable tragedy that springs from unspeakable hopelessness. My heart breaks for any family that is going through such an experience or has ever had to go through it.

      Like

  7. maggie8king says:

    Thanks for providing this much-needed info, Amy. I’m sorry for the multiple losses in your community.

    Like

  8. joylennick says:

    Words seem useless at such a tragic time but such terrible tragedies should be a jolt for people to wonder more about their neighbour. Thinking of those left behind with much sadness.

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    • amreade says:

      I know from personal experience that it’s easy to judge others, but I try very hard to remember that you never know what is going on inside someone’s head or even inside their home. It’s taken me a long time, but I’m much better at not judging than I used to be.

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  9. This is so sad, Amy. Really terrible that a young person gets to such a low point in life.

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    • amreade says:

      And it seems to be happening more and more often. I don’t know if we’re just hearing more of these stories because of social media or whether suicide numbers are on the rise, but I suspect it’s the latter and, though I realize there are people who will disagree, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that social media has a lot to do with it.

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  10. Oh my… blessings to all. XO

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  11. Didn’t really want to hit the like button. I like the fact that you posted this very very important information. I don’t like the fact that people of all ages live with such depression and such hopelessness that they take their own life. What I wish for all of us in this complicated world is help when we need it, and a way to find the reservoir of joy and love inside each of us.

    Liked by 1 person

    • amreade says:

      I think some people don’t even realize there can be such a thing as a reservoir of hope and joy and love. I don’t know the particulars of this boy’s life, so I don’t know if he was receiving mental health counseling. I only know that his hopelessness must have been debilitating and suffocating to take such a drastic step. And he was so young–maybe too young to realize how many resources are out there for people who are struggling. I just wish I could reverse everything.

      Liked by 2 people

      • And that’s the saddest thing. I believe that we do have those reservoirs inside us, but sometimes the way the mind works they are invisible to some. Maybe even unattainable. Suicide is a disaster and a tragedy for the one who takes his life and for all those who love him and for our society.

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      • amreade says:

        It’s the people left behind who suffer the most now, and their suffering will no doubt continue the rest of their lives. 😦

        Liked by 2 people

      • Reaching out is so difficult for one who feels so lost, that is why we have to reach out to them. Counseling may not work, but it is one of the few tools we have.

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      • amreade says:

        I think, too, that people who need help often don’t know where to turn, and that’s especially true for adults. Kids have a built-in support system in school in the form of teachers, counselors, social workers, nurses, etc., but once people leave school they’re just sort of thrust out there without a safety net. And in cases like the one I described in our community, even the school safety net wasn’t enough. The pain that boy must have felt is unimaginable.

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    • I do like how many people care and you say it well.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. As of last night, I can relate Amy. A second cousin was a victim of a murder-suicide. Her ex shot her, his mother and stepfather and then killed himself. Fortunately, their 14-year-old daughter escaped the house, hid outside and called 911. I can’t imagine the trauma this child will live with after seeing her father kill her mother and then aim the gun at her.

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    • amreade says:

      Oh my gosh. That is just horrible. That poor child–I hope she gets counseling immediately. That is something that will never leave her. I will keep her in my prayers, as well as the rest of the family. Thanks for sharing your story.

      Like

    • I am so sorry for your loss. I hope the daughter can get all the professional and personal support she needs. Prayers for your family.

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      • amreade says:

        That young lady is going to need all the support that the people around her can give. She was very courageous to hide from her father and call the police.

        Like

  13. A worthwhile post, Amy. I second your heartfelt intentions.

    Like

  14. Lelia T says:

    It’s a tragedy no matter what the reason and really devastating for those who think they “should have known”. Truthfully, we don’t always see no matter how much we care about the person.

    Liked by 1 person

    • amreade says:

      I think the guilt felt by the people left behind in a tragedy like this can be almost unbearable, because they feel they should have known, as you say. But even when it’s a close loved one, we can’t always see the suffering that goes on in a person’s mind. That’s part of the horror of mental illness–it’s more easily hidden than physical illness in many cases, and it’s stigmatized, so people are often afraid to speak out and ask for help.

      Liked by 2 people

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